TP Was Blitzing The Beach Today

TP Was Blitzing The Beach Today We Chased It Down To The Virginia Line

We took a trip today to find Toilet Paper, a rare commodity in these here parts of Sussex county. When we got the call .. “Dude there is a herd of Charmin two ply, they are running the beaches at Assateague! They just spooked the ponies. You need to get down here!” We saddled up the Tahoe, put on the gas masks, rubber gloves, and hit the sand at a full on four wheel drive crawl. We chased a family pack down to the Virginia line as it bolted for the fence line. It was multi-pack of Charmin two ply running hard, with nine rolls a pack, jackpot. Laura took the shot and broke loose a nine pack. It limped off as the rest of the packs scattered, jumped the fence and headed to Virginia. We managed to get the one that jammed up in the fence, after it bounced off a pole and knocked itself out.

toilet paper, charmin, two ply, shortage
A Charmin two ply nine pack jammed up in the fence line at Assateague.
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If you are looking for toilet paper the easiest way to find it is call places and if they have it, ask if you can pay for it over the phone and go pick it up. Watch the local Facebook pages too. When they aren’t taking pictures of out of state license plates to shame their summer neighbors, someone announces where the TP is running. Otherwise go to the stores after 8 PM, for some reason no one has figured out you can get supplies after dark, and no one is at the stores.
Just curious but are you people eating this stuff? Looking for recipes, though we prefer it raw.

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