Move over Murder Hornets and Baskin Bees, The Horsehsoe Crab Harpies Are Back
Coming up in July, the things nightmares are made of for surf anglers and early morning beach walkers. The horseshoe crab harpies are emerging. Once they have laid their eggs, some of the larger old females develop their wings. They then fly off and protect the rest of their tribe. Warding off predators, and flipping over their clumsier brethren.
This explains how something so simple could survive for millions upon millions of years. For decades scientists have been trying to figure out how this creature survived the last two hundred and fifty million years. When it can’t even flip itself over on the beach to avoid predators and ultimately death. Then The Horseshoe crab harpy was discovered.
For Decades, surf anglers have dodged these dive bombing menaces in the dawn hours. The fact they are blind makes it even scarier. “You never know which direction they are going to fly. You can hear them coming, then all of a sudden there is a flock of them swooping your bait and lines.
They have been known to pick up small children and flip them over. It is a maternal instinct, not to worry.
Over the years surf anglers have learned to wear the molts of horseshoe crabs to ward off these harpies from hell attacking. It is considered a sign of respect and good luck in many surf fishing circles. “Once you put on the helmet, they stop swooping over your head. You have to use an old molt, if you use a dead crab they will target you more. Trying to grab your melon and flip you over. Not to mention you will smell horrible for days.”
If you see one resting just walk away slowly. This rare picture of one resting on a Delaware beach was captured recently and is the only known photograph of this elusive beast. Scientist are still trying to find out where they roost for further studies.
As a bonus it was recently discovered they eat Murder Hornets and Baskin Bees.
Stay safe and wear your helmet out there.
If you made it this far thanks for reading a little satire which we could all use right now. Share this and have fun with your friends. Because if it is on the internet, then it must be true. Just like that Southwest Airlines Giveaway (fake).
Rich King